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That’s, count ‘em, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

THIRTEEN DACHSHUNDS

That’s, count ‘em, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

THIRTEEN DACHSHUNDS

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So

I’m friends with this woman on Facebook who is obsessed with dachshunds. She is always posting pictures of her dachshunds and talking about them and I thought it seemed like she had a few of them. I figured she had like, 4 or 5 dachshunds.

Wait for it.

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Like weirdly into Nick Kroll as Brian Lacroix

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I ordered a pound of organic, raw, unfiltered Shea butter

I already wash all my shit in free and clear detergent, I take warm (not hot) showers, I use body wash for sensitive skin. I’m going to try this, and try this other body wash specifically for eczema, and if that does not help…

I’m skinning myself.

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I found it. I found my epitaph.

I found it. I found my epitaph.

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nikkotine:

chris-who:

I met nikkotine once for like eight hours and I miss her A LOT tbh

This still make me feel super giddy.

fwarg told me that you are “literally the most adorable person” and a “ball of sunshine” and you make people contact happy
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So I think I (finally, 5 years after I first asked a doctor to do it) found a doctor who will perform a tubal ligation on me even though I’m 24 and don’t have any children. Fingers crossed.

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carpe-yesterdiem:

bitchologist:

The year is two thousand and fourteen

And all I want

Is a phone that autocorrects profanity

If iPhone, add profanities as contacts. Works magic. My autocorrect sometimes tries to change “duck” to “fuck” now. No clue if it works for other phones/OSs.

Huh. Android lets you save words, which is how I have things like “bagina,” “coochie,” “teef,” and “a’ight” saved in my autocorrect, but it won’t let you save more obvious four-letter words. I’ll have to try that trick.

Have yet to figure out how to make it understand that when I type olay or okat, 99.9% of the time I mean okay and not play though.

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The year is two thousand and fourteen

And all I want

Is a phone that autocorrects profanity

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I literally have no explanation for why I am still watching the Walking Dead

Because it is so
SO
AWFUL.

But I’m still watching it. Anyway I’m now about halfway through the 4th season and like, really? The fucking Governor again??? I suffered through that stupid plotline for like an entire season.

Stop trying to make the Governor happen! The Governor is never going to happen!!!!