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theadventuresofmichaelpawlak:

Tomorrow: More Woman-Stuff

theadventuresofmichaelpawlak:

Tomorrow: More Woman-Stuff

(Source: dinolyfe2k14)

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Anonymous said: what do you and the hubby do for fun?

Why do I only ever get questions about him

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furrytuna:

gettingahealthybody:

raincityvegan:

Massage Oil – Coconut oil soothes tired and sore muscles. Add a few drops of essential oils for more effect.
Athletes Foot – The powerful antifungal properties of coconut oil make it perfect for any fungal infection. Add a few drops of oregano or tea tree oil for more antifungal power.
Acne – Coconut oil gently fights the bacteria that cause acne. Dab it directly on the offending pimples and watch them shrink.
Cleanser – Coconut oil makes an effective and gentle cleanser to remove the grime of the day.
Lice – Coconut oil kills and removes this pesky problem.
Stretch Marks – Prevent and soften stretch marks from pregnancy with coconut oil for soft and supple skin.
Warts and Moles – Rub oil into area and cover with a bandage. Rub in fresh oil and place a new bandage each day.
Moisturizer – Coconut oil is an excellent way to soften and hydrate dry, rough, or damaged skin.
Face Scrub – Mix coconut oil with baking soda, sugar, or cinnamon and oatmeal for the perfect face scrub and exfoliator.
Dandruff – Massage coconut oil into the scalp to ease symptoms of dandruff, both itching and flaking.
Curb Appetite – Take a spoonful before meals to curb appetite so you don’t overeat.
Wrinkles – Rub into lines, creases, and wrinkles to rehydrate skin and soften those wrinkles away.
Sore Throat – Dissolve a spoonful in your mouth and let it slowly roll down the throat. This will coat and protect the throat, boost the health of mucus membranes, and fight any infection.
Ring Worm – Rub coconut oil onto affected area to kill the fungus that causes unsightly ringworm. Add tea tree oil to clear the infection even faster.
Lip Balm – Coconut oil hydrates and protects lips. Coconut even offers some protection from the sun, about an SPF 4.
Cold Sore – Coconut oil has antiviral properties that will help the body get rid of the virus that causes cold sores. Rub it on when needed and add a drop of oregano oil to speed healing.
Lubricant – Coconut makes an all-natural personal lubricant for intimate moments without chemicals.
Gum Removal – Coconut oil gets the sticky stuff out of hair, carpet, and anywhere else it doesn’t belong.
Pet Health – Coconut oil can do a multitude of things for pets, both topically and internally. It improves breath, makes for a shiny coat, eases joint problems, cleans ears, gets rid of fleas, and much more.
Stys/Pink Eye – Rub a small amount of coconut oil on the sty or around the eyes to get rid of these painful and annoying infections quickly.
Earaches – Earaches, swimmer’s ear, and ear infections clear up fast with a few drops of coconut oil mixed with garlic oil.
Cradle Cap – Coconut oil is gentle and safe for infants and helps ease the itching, pain, redness, and flaking associated with cradle cap.
Diaper Rash – Coconut oil can help heal mild diaper rash gently and effectively.
Bruises – Rub coconut oil into bruised skin to speed healing and watch the bruises fade fast.
Age Spots – Coconut oil has beneficial effects on any skin blemish. Use it to help fade age spots with powerful antioxidants.
Shaving Cream – Coconut oil keeps the razor gliding smoothly while leaving skin smooth and soft.
After Shave – Don’t want unpleasant bumps and rashes after shaving? Coconut oil soothes sensitive skin and promotes healing.
Toothpaste – Mix 1 part coconut oil with 1 part baking soda and add a couple drops of peppermint oil. This makes a refreshing, natural toothpaste that whitens and cleans without added preservatives, fluoride, sweeteners, or other chemicals.
Chicken Pox – Ease the itch and encourage healing with dabs of coconut oil. It also works on poison ivy, poison oak, mosquito bites, and other insect stings or bites.
Yeast Infections – Coconut oil fights these fungal infections internally and externally.
Makeup Remover – Coconut oil removes oil-based makeup easily, like mascara. It cleans, hydrates, and makes skin glow.
Conditioner – Coconut oil conditions, strengthens, and repairs hair. Massage it in and rinse it out after ten minutes. A small amount can be rubbed in to dry hair to tame frizz.
Polish Furniture – Coconut oil gives a protective shine to wood furniture. Just make sure you test it out on a small area to make sure you like the outcome.
Energy – Coconut oil and its medium chain triglycerides make it an excellent energy source to improve stamina, endurance, or just to give you a boost through the day.
Deodorant – Mix coconut oil with cornstarch, baking soda, and your favorite essential oils for a natural deodorant that smells fantastic.
Eye Cream – Reduce puffiness and dark circles with a few dabs of coconut oil.
Eczema – Coconut oil reduces the itchiness, pain, flakiness, and dryness of eczema, psoriasis, and dermatitis.
Sunburn – Coconut oil can help prevent sunburn for short exposures. When you burn, it will also speed healing and take some of the sting away. Make sure you wait until all the heat has dissipated before applying it or you trap the heat in. Wait 24 to 72 hours depending on the extent of the burn.
Hemorrhoids – Coconut oil eases the pain and discomfort of hemorrhoids and encourages natural healing both internally and externally.
Nose Bleeds – Rub a bit of coconut oil in nostrils to fight the dry cracking that can lead to nose bleeds and pain.
Canker Sores – Dab coconut oil on canker sores to kill infection and speed up healing. Coconut oil is also a far tastier way to treat canker sores than most other methods.
Toothaches – Coconut oil eases the pain and strengthens teeth. You can mix it with a drop of clove oil to almost instantly relieve pain.
Acid Reflux – Take a small spoonful with meals to keep acid reflux and heartburn at bay.
Urinary Tract – Treat urinary tract infections with a spoonful of coconut oil. It may even ease the painful passing of kidney stones.
Nursing – Coconut oil works great to repair dry, cracked skin, including sore nipples from nursing.
Alzheimer’s – Some research points to coconut oil as a way to slow the progression of or prevent Alzheimer’s and dementia.
Bones – Coconut oil aids the body in the absorption of calcium and magnesium. Both minerals are important for strong bones and teeth.
Epilepsy – Coconut oil may reduce the incidence and intensity of epileptic seizures.
Fitness – Coconut oil boosts energy, increases metabolism, improves thyroid function, and aids healthy weight loss. It is the perfect addition to any workout or fitness regimen.
Cooking – Coconut oil doesn’t form harmful by-products when heated like most other oils and animal fats. Use it to replace butter, cup for cup in recipes. Sauté, cook, bake, broil, braise, and more using coconut oil as a healthier alternative. 

Nature is wonderful.


It’s always impossible for me. It to reblog this. Coconut oil is just so fucking cool shit goddamn

Uh, no. I would like to see sources for all these claims. Nothing is a panacea. And please for the love of god do not put coconut oil or anything else inside your vagina or urethra! To say nothing of the fact that if your holistic snake oil remedies do not actually cure your, say, yeast infection, that it could turn into a worse problem like pelvic inflammatory disease, and cause lifelong problems like sterility—if you have a jar of coconut oil in your cabinet that you are dipping into when you wash your face or condition your hair it IS NOT STERILE! Jars are generally pretty much petri dishes! This goes for all cosmetics and toiletries as well. If you have a choice between a jar or bottle with a pump, go with the pump—it keeps your dirty little fingers out of the unused product and keeps the most air away from the product. Anyway no seriously, coconut oil is not s cure-all. Nothing is. Do not put coconut oil in your eye if you have a sty, Jesus fucking—take a CLEAN wash cloth (not the one that hangs on a hook in your shower you dirty bitch) and soak it in the hottest water you can stand, wring it out, and put a compress on your eye until it cools down. Repeat as long as you have time to sit around doing it. Do not squeeze the sty or put magical hippy oils in your eyeball. You could scratch your cornea or blind yourself, weirdo. Also generally anything oil-based is NOT good to use as lube. Look for a nice water-based product so you’re not fucking up the delicate pH balance of your cooch. They make organic ones! They make natural ones! They make chemical-free ones, you don’t have to buy your lube in the same aisle as Crisco and lard!God damn people I mean come on!

furrytuna:

gettingahealthybody:

raincityvegan:

  • Massage Oil – Coconut oil soothes tired and sore muscles. Add a few drops of essential oils for more effect.
  • Athletes Foot – The powerful antifungal properties of coconut oil make it perfect for any fungal infection. Add a few drops of oregano or tea tree oil for more antifungal power.
  • Acne – Coconut oil gently fights the bacteria that cause acne. Dab it directly on the offending pimples and watch them shrink.
  • Cleanser – Coconut oil makes an effective and gentle cleanser to remove the grime of the day.
  • Lice – Coconut oil kills and removes this pesky problem.
  • Stretch Marks – Prevent and soften stretch marks from pregnancy with coconut oil for soft and supple skin.
  • Warts and Moles – Rub oil into area and cover with a bandage. Rub in fresh oil and place a new bandage each day.
  • Moisturizer – Coconut oil is an excellent way to soften and hydrate dry, rough, or damaged skin.
  • Face Scrub – Mix coconut oil with baking soda, sugar, or cinnamon and oatmeal for the perfect face scrub and exfoliator.
  • Dandruff – Massage coconut oil into the scalp to ease symptoms of dandruff, both itching and flaking.
  • Curb Appetite – Take a spoonful before meals to curb appetite so you don’t overeat.
  • Wrinkles – Rub into lines, creases, and wrinkles to rehydrate skin and soften those wrinkles away.
  • Sore Throat – Dissolve a spoonful in your mouth and let it slowly roll down the throat. This will coat and protect the throat, boost the health of mucus membranes, and fight any infection.
  • Ring Worm – Rub coconut oil onto affected area to kill the fungus that causes unsightly ringworm. Add tea tree oil to clear the infection even faster.
  • Lip Balm – Coconut oil hydrates and protects lips. Coconut even offers some protection from the sun, about an SPF 4.
  • Cold Sore – Coconut oil has antiviral properties that will help the body get rid of the virus that causes cold sores. Rub it on when needed and add a drop of oregano oil to speed healing.
  • Lubricant – Coconut makes an all-natural personal lubricant for intimate moments without chemicals.
  • Gum Removal – Coconut oil gets the sticky stuff out of hair, carpet, and anywhere else it doesn’t belong.
  • Pet Health – Coconut oil can do a multitude of things for pets, both topically and internally. It improves breath, makes for a shiny coat, eases joint problems, cleans ears, gets rid of fleas, and much more.
  • Stys/Pink Eye – Rub a small amount of coconut oil on the sty or around the eyes to get rid of these painful and annoying infections quickly.
  • Earaches – Earaches, swimmer’s ear, and ear infections clear up fast with a few drops of coconut oil mixed with garlic oil.
  • Cradle Cap – Coconut oil is gentle and safe for infants and helps ease the itching, pain, redness, and flaking associated with cradle cap.
  • Diaper Rash – Coconut oil can help heal mild diaper rash gently and effectively.
  • Bruises – Rub coconut oil into bruised skin to speed healing and watch the bruises fade fast.
  • Age Spots – Coconut oil has beneficial effects on any skin blemish. Use it to help fade age spots with powerful antioxidants.
  • Shaving Cream – Coconut oil keeps the razor gliding smoothly while leaving skin smooth and soft.
  • After Shave – Don’t want unpleasant bumps and rashes after shaving? Coconut oil soothes sensitive skin and promotes healing.
  • Toothpaste – Mix 1 part coconut oil with 1 part baking soda and add a couple drops of peppermint oil. This makes a refreshing, natural toothpaste that whitens and cleans without added preservatives, fluoride, sweeteners, or other chemicals.
  • Chicken Pox – Ease the itch and encourage healing with dabs of coconut oil. It also works on poison ivy, poison oak, mosquito bites, and other insect stings or bites.
  • Yeast Infections – Coconut oil fights these fungal infections internally and externally.
  • Makeup Remover – Coconut oil removes oil-based makeup easily, like mascara. It cleans, hydrates, and makes skin glow.
  • Conditioner – Coconut oil conditions, strengthens, and repairs hair. Massage it in and rinse it out after ten minutes. A small amount can be rubbed in to dry hair to tame frizz.
  • Polish Furniture – Coconut oil gives a protective shine to wood furniture. Just make sure you test it out on a small area to make sure you like the outcome.
  • Energy – Coconut oil and its medium chain triglycerides make it an excellent energy source to improve stamina, endurance, or just to give you a boost through the day.
  • Deodorant – Mix coconut oil with cornstarch, baking soda, and your favorite essential oils for a natural deodorant that smells fantastic.
  • Eye Cream – Reduce puffiness and dark circles with a few dabs of coconut oil.
  • Eczema – Coconut oil reduces the itchiness, pain, flakiness, and dryness of eczema, psoriasis, and dermatitis.
  • Sunburn – Coconut oil can help prevent sunburn for short exposures. When you burn, it will also speed healing and take some of the sting away. Make sure you wait until all the heat has dissipated before applying it or you trap the heat in. Wait 24 to 72 hours depending on the extent of the burn.
  • Hemorrhoids – Coconut oil eases the pain and discomfort of hemorrhoids and encourages natural healing both internally and externally.
  • Nose Bleeds – Rub a bit of coconut oil in nostrils to fight the dry cracking that can lead to nose bleeds and pain.
  • Canker Sores – Dab coconut oil on canker sores to kill infection and speed up healing. Coconut oil is also a far tastier way to treat canker sores than most other methods.
  • Toothaches – Coconut oil eases the pain and strengthens teeth. You can mix it with a drop of clove oil to almost instantly relieve pain.
  • Acid Reflux – Take a small spoonful with meals to keep acid reflux and heartburn at bay.
  • Urinary Tract – Treat urinary tract infections with a spoonful of coconut oil. It may even ease the painful passing of kidney stones.
  • Nursing – Coconut oil works great to repair dry, cracked skin, including sore nipples from nursing.
  • Alzheimer’s – Some research points to coconut oil as a way to slow the progression of or prevent Alzheimer’s and dementia.
  • Bones – Coconut oil aids the body in the absorption of calcium and magnesium. Both minerals are important for strong bones and teeth.
  • Epilepsy – Coconut oil may reduce the incidence and intensity of epileptic seizures.
  • Fitness – Coconut oil boosts energy, increases metabolism, improves thyroid function, and aids healthy weight loss. It is the perfect addition to any workout or fitness regimen.
  • Cooking – Coconut oil doesn’t form harmful by-products when heated like most other oils and animal fats. Use it to replace butter, cup for cup in recipes. Sauté, cook, bake, broil, braise, and more using coconut oil as a healthier alternative. 

Nature is wonderful.

It’s always impossible for me. It to reblog this. Coconut oil is just so fucking cool shit goddamn

Uh, no. I would like to see sources for all these claims. Nothing is a panacea. And please for the love of god do not put coconut oil or anything else inside your vagina or urethra! To say nothing of the fact that if your holistic snake oil remedies do not actually cure your, say, yeast infection, that it could turn into a worse problem like pelvic inflammatory disease, and cause lifelong problems like sterility—if you have a jar of coconut oil in your cabinet that you are dipping into when you wash your face or condition your hair it IS NOT STERILE! Jars are generally pretty much petri dishes! This goes for all cosmetics and toiletries as well. If you have a choice between a jar or bottle with a pump, go with the pump—it keeps your dirty little fingers out of the unused product and keeps the most air away from the product.

Anyway no seriously, coconut oil is not s cure-all. Nothing is. Do not put coconut oil in your eye if you have a sty, Jesus fucking—take a CLEAN wash cloth (not the one that hangs on a hook in your shower you dirty bitch) and soak it in the hottest water you can stand, wring it out, and put a compress on your eye until it cools down. Repeat as long as you have time to sit around doing it. Do not squeeze the sty or put magical hippy oils in your eyeball. You could scratch your cornea or blind yourself, weirdo.

Also generally anything oil-based is NOT good to use as lube. Look for a nice water-based product so you’re not fucking up the delicate pH balance of your cooch. They make organic ones! They make natural ones! They make chemical-free ones, you don’t have to buy your lube in the same aisle as Crisco and lard!

God damn people I mean come on!

(via djldgaf)

Text

The failed “rape” scene from the movie Choke is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen

Text

WOOOOOOWWWWWW

Woowwwwwwww

Tonight I had to work out at the Jewish camp. They have, taped all over the place, probably a hundred of them, signs on sheets of computer paper that say, “Are you ready for this?” And the outline of the shape of Israel… if Gaza and the West Bank were part of Israel.

FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU

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One time

A coworker told me that he thinks I look prettier with less makeup on

So I wrote down on a note pad, “[Name] thinks I look prettier with less makeup on,” tore it off, went back in the kitchen, and said, “Hey. I got you something for you to shove up your ass,” and handed him the piece of paper.

Text

I’ve never prayed

But God, Jesus, Adonai, Satan, Vishnu, anybody, please don’t let me get varicose veins from standing on a concrete floor for 8 hours a day

Please baby

Not my vanity. Don’t hit me there. Please.

Link

moniquemallo:

Israel’s health ministry is investigating claims that Ethiopian women are being injected with a controversial contraceptive without their knowledge or consent.

Thousands of Ethiopian women are said to be receiving shots of Depo-Provera every three months in Israeli clinics. The contraceptive stops menstruation and has been linked to fertility problems and osteoporosis.

(via handaxe)

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I am not an anachronism

I was born at exactly the right time. I am a deeply emotional introvert who loves people but sucks at social situations, so The Great Mother gave me the Internet, a medium through which I have come to know some of the loveliest, kindest, most loyal friends I have ever had. I have people who have stayed up with me until 4 am listening to me talk about my problems, people who have supported me emotionally, financially, and psychologically when I was down and out, and people who understand my sense of humor and personality like few people in “real life” ever have.

One day when I’m mega rich I’m buying a giant mansion and a teleporter. I’m going to let every animal in the whole world live at my house and all my Internet friends will have their own private suite.

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I know it is hard to believe that anything could be less than perfect about this beautiful brown angel, but she has the absolute worst breath you could possibly imagine. And her teeth don’t look that dirty but I think the only solution is to take her to the vet and have her teeth cleaned. So I called them to get an estimate and they said it will end up being between $380 and $800 depending on if she ends up needing any teeth pulled (which I’m sure she won’t, but). Like damn can I just take her to my human dentist and pay a $15 copay…

I know it is hard to believe that anything could be less than perfect about this beautiful brown angel, but she has the absolute worst breath you could possibly imagine. And her teeth don’t look that dirty but I think the only solution is to take her to the vet and have her teeth cleaned. So I called them to get an estimate and they said it will end up being between $380 and $800 depending on if she ends up needing any teeth pulled (which I’m sure she won’t, but). Like damn can I just take her to my human dentist and pay a $15 copay…